Coping with Deployment

Coping with deployment
Erin A. Nash

Whether it’s your first deployment or your 10th, it is without a doubt a very stressful time in life. There are jobs, kids, bills, chores, etc., and it all has to be done without the help of a spouse. There’s constant worry, but with some good tips and advice, deployments can be manageable.
I didn’t know what to expect with my husband’s first deployment. It was two weeks after Sept. 11, 2001, that he left. I didn’t know where he was, and had no communication with him. Luckily, now when he deploys, I have an address for him, and there’s e-mail, video teleconference and much better communication. Even though his unit is not allowed to use a lot of social media like Facebook, it comforts me to be able to write on his Facebook wall, a quick “I love you” or “I’m so proud of you” makes me feel better, and he can see it when he comes home and know I was constantly thinking of him and supporting him.
Our last deployment I faced a different challenge. It was the first in a new place. We moved across Georgia, and it’s our first time not living on post. All of our previous deployments I had the comfort of many neighbors and friends who also had spouses deployed. It’s been challenging living among civilians, who are well-meaning but don’t understand the military life. I take this opportunity to try to educate them about the challenges and rewards of being a military spouse, and what a deployment is really like. I also had to make an effort to get to know the other spouses in my husband’s unit, and when I did, it was nice to get together, and talk about our own experiences, both as military spouses and our coping strategies with deployments.
What has really worked for me during our seven deployments has been one rule – Don’t try to keep things “normal.” I don’t mean making any drastic changes, especially if you have children. Consistency is the key with kids, but, if one night, I feel like making breakfast for supper, I’ll do it. Do what feels right, what will bring you that extra ounce of comfort. It’s when I indulge myself in guilty pleasures – a gossip magazine to escape to the realities of everyday life, a bubble bath every single night if I please, or whatever your guilty pleasure may be. It’s not the best time to overindulge in harmful things, but it is a time when it’s okay to be a bit selfish.
If you find yourself struggling, there are many avenues to explore, many different places to get help. If your unit has a Family Readiness Group, contact your leader or co-leader, or whoever can help. They can guide you to whom or what program is applicable to your situation. A chaplain is always someone who will listen, and who can offer advice. There are a myriad of Websites dedicated to helping the military spouse. Reach out to friends and family. You’d be surprised how willing they are to help.
Towards the end of one deployment, a friend asked how she should deal with her husband when he came home. Should she try to get him to talk about his experience, or should she just let him be? Each person is different, I told her. Whereas her husband may want to talk until he’s hoarse, my husband may not want to say much beyond, “I missed you.” I find it best to just lay low for a couple days, to reintegrate with each other, and not force anything. That pre-deployment feeling will come back, and within a few weeks everything seems normal again. This may not be true for all, but I’ve found it’s always the same for us.
Although deployments have been one of the hardest things I’ve had to endure as a military wife, they have made me a stronger, more independent person. I’ve had time to learn about myself, to understand that yes, I can do it. When friends and family say to me, “I don’t know how you do it,” I have only one answer, “Because I love him.”

The Perspective of a Fort Benning Military Wife and Mother-Summer in Georgia

Summertime is upon us. Along with the scorching heat comes the fun of block leave and summer vacations. If you are looking for a vacation that is within driving distance then a nice family beach vacation idea is Tybee Island on the Eastern Georgia Coast. It is about a four and a half hour drive through the beautiful Georgia countryside. We made the drive in our Mercury Sable on about three quarters of a tank of gas.
For those who are unfamiliar with where Tybee Island is located, it is the coastal area right near Savannah, Georgia. The beach is absolutely beautiful and it is very family friendly. We rented a three bedroom condo with our family right on the beach and it was about $300 per family for the week which we considered very affordable. There are other options for lodging here as well such a multitude of hotels as well as rental houses. As for the atmosphere the beach is not overly touristy but there are many things to do.
One family outing that we took was to the downtown area on the island. On that end of the island you can find souvenir shops, ice cream stores, lots of restaurants, and the pier. The pier was our favorite spot. On the pier there was an ice cream shop, a hot dog stand, and a bar. There is a covered pavilion that has ample seating. At the end of the pier there is a smaller pavilion that had benches and a beautiful view of the rolling waves.
Another day we went on a Dolphin Cruise. My stepdaughter is an animal fanatic so no vacation is complete without some sort of animal excursion. The dolphin cruise was a ninety minute boat ride. It cost $15 per adult and $7 per child. We were somewhat nervous that after paying for the boat ride we may not see dolphins but as it turned out we could not believe how many dolphins we saw. We even got to see two baby dolphins which the children loved.
My favorite part of the trip was the beach. The beach was a good combination or soft sand and hard packed sand closer to the water. This gave us option of lying out and building sand castles in the soft sand and taking walks or riding bikes on the packed sand. The water this time of year was perfect not too cold but yet not to hot as to not be refreshing. We enjoyed many hours on the beach playing in the water either boogie boarding in the waves and looking for hermit crabs in the tide pools.
My husband’s favorite part of the trip was the lighthouse and the Military forts. My husband was a history teacher before he came into the army so anytime that we vacation we usually visit the local historical land marks. The lighthouse was our favorite part of the day because it had a beautiful view.
The last thing that we did while on vacation was eat. We ate, and ate, and ate but with all of the fresh seafood how could you not. Our favorite place to eat was the crab shack. This restaurant is awesome. There is seating indoors or out depending on the weather, awesome décor, an even an alligator pit that you can feed the alligators. The portions here were huge and the food was good. I would definitely recommend this restaurant to anyone who comes to the area.
We were so busy the whole time that we were on vacation and with Savannah so close there is so much more that we could have done. I highly recommend Tybee Island to anyone looking for a great beach getaway.
CJ