Coping with Deployment

Coping with deployment
Erin A. Nash

Whether it’s your first deployment or your 10th, it is without a doubt a very stressful time in life. There are jobs, kids, bills, chores, etc., and it all has to be done without the help of a spouse. There’s constant worry, but with some good tips and advice, deployments can be manageable.
I didn’t know what to expect with my husband’s first deployment. It was two weeks after Sept. 11, 2001, that he left. I didn’t know where he was, and had no communication with him. Luckily, now when he deploys, I have an address for him, and there’s e-mail, video teleconference and much better communication. Even though his unit is not allowed to use a lot of social media like Facebook, it comforts me to be able to write on his Facebook wall, a quick “I love you” or “I’m so proud of you” makes me feel better, and he can see it when he comes home and know I was constantly thinking of him and supporting him.
Our last deployment I faced a different challenge. It was the first in a new place. We moved across Georgia, and it’s our first time not living on post. All of our previous deployments I had the comfort of many neighbors and friends who also had spouses deployed. It’s been challenging living among civilians, who are well-meaning but don’t understand the military life. I take this opportunity to try to educate them about the challenges and rewards of being a military spouse, and what a deployment is really like. I also had to make an effort to get to know the other spouses in my husband’s unit, and when I did, it was nice to get together, and talk about our own experiences, both as military spouses and our coping strategies with deployments.
What has really worked for me during our seven deployments has been one rule – Don’t try to keep things “normal.” I don’t mean making any drastic changes, especially if you have children. Consistency is the key with kids, but, if one night, I feel like making breakfast for supper, I’ll do it. Do what feels right, what will bring you that extra ounce of comfort. It’s when I indulge myself in guilty pleasures – a gossip magazine to escape to the realities of everyday life, a bubble bath every single night if I please, or whatever your guilty pleasure may be. It’s not the best time to overindulge in harmful things, but it is a time when it’s okay to be a bit selfish.
If you find yourself struggling, there are many avenues to explore, many different places to get help. If your unit has a Family Readiness Group, contact your leader or co-leader, or whoever can help. They can guide you to whom or what program is applicable to your situation. A chaplain is always someone who will listen, and who can offer advice. There are a myriad of Websites dedicated to helping the military spouse. Reach out to friends and family. You’d be surprised how willing they are to help.
Towards the end of one deployment, a friend asked how she should deal with her husband when he came home. Should she try to get him to talk about his experience, or should she just let him be? Each person is different, I told her. Whereas her husband may want to talk until he’s hoarse, my husband may not want to say much beyond, “I missed you.” I find it best to just lay low for a couple days, to reintegrate with each other, and not force anything. That pre-deployment feeling will come back, and within a few weeks everything seems normal again. This may not be true for all, but I’ve found it’s always the same for us.
Although deployments have been one of the hardest things I’ve had to endure as a military wife, they have made me a stronger, more independent person. I’ve had time to learn about myself, to understand that yes, I can do it. When friends and family say to me, “I don’t know how you do it,” I have only one answer, “Because I love him.”

Some Summer Recipes from a Fort Benning Wife and Mother

With summer in full swing and the Fourth of July just around the corner, I thought I would raid my recipes to find my family’s favorite summer recipes. I do not have exact recipes for most of these so I will do the best I can in telling you how to make them. These recipes are my favorite that my mother passed on to me.
Pasta salad
1 box of Rotini pasta (tri color looks nice)
1 bottle of your favorite Italian dressing (If you are feeling ambitious you can make your own)
2 small cans of diced black olive
1 package of feta cheese (If you don’t like feta it is great with provolone as well)
1 package of sliced pepperoni ( I cut the pepperoni rounds in half)
1 green peeper diced (optional)
1 red onion diced (optional)
All you do to make this is cook the pasta and then toss with the other ingredients. I have noticed that this tastes better if you make it the day before and let everything marinate overnight but it is great the same day as well. (The last time I made this I added diced pastrami and salami and everyone loved it)

Fruit Salad
1 large can of chunk pineapple
1 large can of mandarin oranges drained
1 bag of grapes (I like to cut the grapes in half)
3 bananas sliced thin
1 container of cool whip
1 Package of mini marshmallows
1 large package of instant pudding (I use vanilla but you can use other flavors if you like)
To make this you take the pineapple, not drained, and stir in the package of instant pudding. Allow to set and then add the rest of the fruit. Fold in cool whip and marshmallows. If you want to make this a day ahead wait to add the bananas and cool whip or it may get soggy.
Buffalo Chicken Wing Dip
2 cups of Diced cooked chicken (you can cook it yourself or if you are in a hurry buy precooked chicken)
1 package of shredded mild cheddar ( Colby jack is good as well)
2 packages of softened cream cheese
1 bottle of chicken wing sauce (I use Nancy’s)
1 bottle of blue cheese or ranch dressing (or you can make your own)
1 packet of Italian dressing mix
To make take the cooked chicken, Italian dressing mix, and chicken wing sauce in a saucepan and heat over medium heat until warm. While this is heating take a 13x9 inch pan and spread the cream cheese on the bottom of the pan. Then pour chicken mixture over the cream cheese. Next pour the ranch or blue cheese on the top of the chicken mixture. Finally top with the shredded cheese. Place in a preheated 375 degree oven until cheese is melted on top and dip is heated through. You can serve this with tortilla chips or bread.
I hope you enjoy these recipes these are great to bring to pot lucks, Family Group Readiness events, or just a summer picnic.

The Perspective of a Fort Benning Military Wife and Mother

One of the hardest parts of being a military wife here in Columbus, Georgia is that our extended families are not here. We find ourselves trying to keep in touch with out of town family but even with modern technology it can still be hard. Lucky for my husband and I both our families are within driving distance so we are constantly entertaining family. This brings up the problem of trying to find new and interesting things to do in Columbus without spending too much.
One thing that we found to be entertaining was to go for walks on the scenic trail at the Columbus Botanical Gardens. This was especially nice for our grandparents and parents. They enjoyed getting out doors and being able to see the beautiful flora and fauna. My stepdaughter Ana, who is five, said she loved seeing all the pretty flowers. The best part was that it is free. This is nice if you are looking to get out of the house but don’t want to break their budget.
Another good place that we like to go that is also free is Cooper Creek Park. This is a favorite of our children. They have multiple playgrounds, picnic tables, grills, and a beautiful lake view. Our favorite outing is to take picnic food and have dinner at the park. The park also has walking and fitness trails. If you like getting out but feel guilty leaving the family pet, after all they are part of the family too, this park is pet friendly. This is our favorite park but there are many beautiful parks in Muscogee County.
A place that is slightly more expensive but worth the trip, is Animal Safari in Pine Mountain, Georgia. This gives families a chance to experience wildlife that is not native to the area up close and personal. We visited Animal Safari one weekend when my in-laws were in town and my niece Sylvia (3) loved it so much that every time that she comes to visit she asks if we can go back. This outing is pricy but it is fun to go if you are looking for something unique to do with family and don’t mind the splurge.
If the outdoors is not your cup of tea there are other options here is Columbus. The Columbus museum of art is also a great place to take the family. While it is not free it is fairly inexpensive. There are so many programs for adults as well as families. The museum has everything from Egyptian art to Architecture. They also have a restaurant so you can eat and then take a tour of the museum. This is one of my personal favorites for a family outing.
Hollywood Connection is my stepdaughter’s favorite place to go on a family outing. This is a family friendly movie theater and more. Most of the movies that are shown there are family movies which is nice for us because we have two children under 6. Not only is there movies but there are also amusement rides as well as movie snacks.
There are many things to do here in Columbus. I find that getting out when family is in town helps us all to have a better time. Sometimes it can be overbearing to have a house full of family and it helps to alleviate that stress by getting everyone out of the house. It also helps to tire out children who may be over stimulated by the extra people in the house. Columbus is a great place for families and we have found it to be a great place to be stationed.
C.J.

The Perspective of what it is like to be a Georgia Military Wife

The Perspective of what it is like to be a Georgia Military Wife

As I sat there in the oh so comfortable gynecologist chair with my one year old son next to me in his stroller screaming because he did not want to be confined and would prefer to be exploring the room on foot, I realized that being a military wife can be difficult at times. If I had a husband who worked in the civilian sector and did not go to the field for days or weeks or even months at a time, then when I could not find a babysitter he could step in and save the day instead of me bringing my son, or my little shadow, as I so fondly call him, along for what is already an uncomfortable event without a screaming child. Part of what it means to be a military wife and mother is that you are a part time single parent as well. Dealing with this means being able to understand what your husband’s duties are as a soldier and the willingness to pick up the slack when he is gone from time to time.

Another aspect of being a military wife is being flexible. This means that when you have a romantic evening for the two of you planned with babysitter and everything and he gets a call that someone needs him to cover staff duty last minute, that while you may be disappointed you don’t freak out and take it out on him. It also means that when you plan a vacation you purchase the travel insurance because you never know when things might change. My favorite phrase when talking about field time or deployments is “unless amended or extended.” This says it all. Things change all the time in the military. Nothing is set in stone and the sooner that military spouses understand this and accept it the sooner they will be better able to cope with the military lifestyle and the better the quality of life will be for the military families. Am I saying that everything has been 100% okay all the time since I accepted this fact? Well no, it is just that once I was able to put things into proper perspective and be more flexible things did get easier.

As for being a military wife in Georgia I would say that it is probably the same as being a military wife anywhere else except for the scorching heat in the summers and months of frizzy hair due to high humidity. There is plenty to do here at this base with Atlanta being nearby. Being stationed here is just like being stationed anywhere else, there are things I love and things that are not so great but it is all what you make of it. I heard this saying that home is where the Army sends you. All you can do is make the best of it.

So is being a military wife all hard work and no play? Of course, not. We have husbands who do a job that is truly respectable and worthy of admiration. Don’t let my husband read this or it will go straight to his head, but I am so proud of what he does. (Only kidding my husband knows I am proud.) Also one of the perks of having a husband who does a dangerous job is that he and I are very appreciative of our time together. When we do have time together we try to make it quality family time and try not to take any of it for granted.

My husband and I had a conversation before we got married about how I would deal with military life. I told him that I would rather have him for whatever amount of time that I could get as opposed to living every day with anyone else. So yes, at times being a military wife is hard. We make many sacrifices in our families so that our husbands can defend our country. All in all I would not change.
-C. Jordan