Coping with Deployment

Coping with deployment
Erin A. Nash

Whether it’s your first deployment or your 10th, it is without a doubt a very stressful time in life. There are jobs, kids, bills, chores, etc., and it all has to be done without the help of a spouse. There’s constant worry, but with some good tips and advice, deployments can be manageable.
I didn’t know what to expect with my husband’s first deployment. It was two weeks after Sept. 11, 2001, that he left. I didn’t know where he was, and had no communication with him. Luckily, now when he deploys, I have an address for him, and there’s e-mail, video teleconference and much better communication. Even though his unit is not allowed to use a lot of social media like Facebook, it comforts me to be able to write on his Facebook wall, a quick “I love you” or “I’m so proud of you” makes me feel better, and he can see it when he comes home and know I was constantly thinking of him and supporting him.
Our last deployment I faced a different challenge. It was the first in a new place. We moved across Georgia, and it’s our first time not living on post. All of our previous deployments I had the comfort of many neighbors and friends who also had spouses deployed. It’s been challenging living among civilians, who are well-meaning but don’t understand the military life. I take this opportunity to try to educate them about the challenges and rewards of being a military spouse, and what a deployment is really like. I also had to make an effort to get to know the other spouses in my husband’s unit, and when I did, it was nice to get together, and talk about our own experiences, both as military spouses and our coping strategies with deployments.
What has really worked for me during our seven deployments has been one rule – Don’t try to keep things “normal.” I don’t mean making any drastic changes, especially if you have children. Consistency is the key with kids, but, if one night, I feel like making breakfast for supper, I’ll do it. Do what feels right, what will bring you that extra ounce of comfort. It’s when I indulge myself in guilty pleasures – a gossip magazine to escape to the realities of everyday life, a bubble bath every single night if I please, or whatever your guilty pleasure may be. It’s not the best time to overindulge in harmful things, but it is a time when it’s okay to be a bit selfish.
If you find yourself struggling, there are many avenues to explore, many different places to get help. If your unit has a Family Readiness Group, contact your leader or co-leader, or whoever can help. They can guide you to whom or what program is applicable to your situation. A chaplain is always someone who will listen, and who can offer advice. There are a myriad of Websites dedicated to helping the military spouse. Reach out to friends and family. You’d be surprised how willing they are to help.
Towards the end of one deployment, a friend asked how she should deal with her husband when he came home. Should she try to get him to talk about his experience, or should she just let him be? Each person is different, I told her. Whereas her husband may want to talk until he’s hoarse, my husband may not want to say much beyond, “I missed you.” I find it best to just lay low for a couple days, to reintegrate with each other, and not force anything. That pre-deployment feeling will come back, and within a few weeks everything seems normal again. This may not be true for all, but I’ve found it’s always the same for us.
Although deployments have been one of the hardest things I’ve had to endure as a military wife, they have made me a stronger, more independent person. I’ve had time to learn about myself, to understand that yes, I can do it. When friends and family say to me, “I don’t know how you do it,” I have only one answer, “Because I love him.”

20 Military Couples Say "I Do"

OPHFGA
IMMEDIATE RELEASE
June 5, 2009

For Immediate Release
Contact: Kim Scofi, Chapter President
770-973-0014
georgia@operationhomefront.net
20 Military Couples Say "I Do"
Operation Homefront Georgia hosts a dream wedding for 20 Ft. Benning couples, June 13.
Columbus, GA - June 13, 2009

Marriage for many begins with a budget, calendar and a long list of dreams. Stir into the mix cost of living, military careers and multiple deployments and you have military couples marrying at the Justice of the Peace. 20 couples with Ft. Benning ties will have the opportunity June 13th to have the wedding of their dreams and memories for a lifetime as they join Operation Homefront Georgia in Operation Wedding Bells.

Military WeddingBrides will don beautiful designer gowns and veils generously donated by Alfred Angelo of Miami, FL to Operation Homefront Georgia as they walk down the aisle to meet the Soldier of their dreams at the Columbus Botanical Gardens. Each bride received not only the dress and headpiece but professional hair design, manicure, pedicure and make up application to truly feel like a princess. Thanks to the generosity of the Columbus Botanical Gardens these wonderful couples and their guests will have a spectacular outdoor wedding in a beautiful garden setting. The Columbus Botanical Gardens not only donated the space for the wedding, but the volunteers to serve as ushers and attendants and designed and created all of the flowers to include bouquets. Hooters of America, a corporate sponsor of Operation Homefront will provide food and beverage for all of the couples and their guests (250) along with a very special honeymoon for one lucky couple that day.

"The couples participating have faced a variety of issues which precluded them from every girls dream wedding. We want to give these military members and their betrothed a memory to hold onto as these families will face a long deployment soon enough. Operation Homefront Georgia is committed to supporting these wonderful Soldiers and the Families of Ft. Benning along with all installations around the state."said, Kim Scofi, Chapter President, Operation Homefront Georgia.

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WHO: 20 Ft. Benning Couples & Operation Homefront Georgia
WHAT: Operation Wedding Bells & Vow Renewals
WHEN: 13 June, 2009 5:00 PM
WHERE: Columbus Botanical Gardens, 3603 Weems Road, Columbus, GA 706-327-8400

About Operation Homefront Georgia

Operation Homefront Georgia provides emergency and morale assistance for our troops, the families they leave behind and for wounded warriors when they return home. A nonprofit 501(c)(3), Operation Homefront Georgia leads more than 400 volunteers in Georgia, and has provided critical assistance to more than 8,000 military families in need. Operation Homefront, Inc. hosts the Web community Operation Homefront Online. For more information, please visit Operation Homefront Georgia and Homefront Online.
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The Perspective of what it is like to be a Georgia Military Wife

The Perspective of what it is like to be a Georgia Military Wife

As I sat there in the oh so comfortable gynecologist chair with my one year old son next to me in his stroller screaming because he did not want to be confined and would prefer to be exploring the room on foot, I realized that being a military wife can be difficult at times. If I had a husband who worked in the civilian sector and did not go to the field for days or weeks or even months at a time, then when I could not find a babysitter he could step in and save the day instead of me bringing my son, or my little shadow, as I so fondly call him, along for what is already an uncomfortable event without a screaming child. Part of what it means to be a military wife and mother is that you are a part time single parent as well. Dealing with this means being able to understand what your husband’s duties are as a soldier and the willingness to pick up the slack when he is gone from time to time.

Another aspect of being a military wife is being flexible. This means that when you have a romantic evening for the two of you planned with babysitter and everything and he gets a call that someone needs him to cover staff duty last minute, that while you may be disappointed you don’t freak out and take it out on him. It also means that when you plan a vacation you purchase the travel insurance because you never know when things might change. My favorite phrase when talking about field time or deployments is “unless amended or extended.” This says it all. Things change all the time in the military. Nothing is set in stone and the sooner that military spouses understand this and accept it the sooner they will be better able to cope with the military lifestyle and the better the quality of life will be for the military families. Am I saying that everything has been 100% okay all the time since I accepted this fact? Well no, it is just that once I was able to put things into proper perspective and be more flexible things did get easier.

As for being a military wife in Georgia I would say that it is probably the same as being a military wife anywhere else except for the scorching heat in the summers and months of frizzy hair due to high humidity. There is plenty to do here at this base with Atlanta being nearby. Being stationed here is just like being stationed anywhere else, there are things I love and things that are not so great but it is all what you make of it. I heard this saying that home is where the Army sends you. All you can do is make the best of it.

So is being a military wife all hard work and no play? Of course, not. We have husbands who do a job that is truly respectable and worthy of admiration. Don’t let my husband read this or it will go straight to his head, but I am so proud of what he does. (Only kidding my husband knows I am proud.) Also one of the perks of having a husband who does a dangerous job is that he and I are very appreciative of our time together. When we do have time together we try to make it quality family time and try not to take any of it for granted.

My husband and I had a conversation before we got married about how I would deal with military life. I told him that I would rather have him for whatever amount of time that I could get as opposed to living every day with anyone else. So yes, at times being a military wife is hard. We make many sacrifices in our families so that our husbands can defend our country. All in all I would not change.
-C. Jordan

2000 is the Magic Number by May 30th

We hope you'll join us by sending this blog address to everyone you know. We'd like to show our 2000 Georgia Troops and their Families currently in Afghanistan just how much support they really do have at home. Please send this information to your contacts so we can have 2000:2000 by May 30th!

Join us on:

Hometown Hero

Do you know of a Hometown Hero?

Hometown Hero
Nominate a Hometown Hero today! The Atlanta Braves and Operation Homefront Georgia want to award your Hometown Hero with 4-755 Club Seats, parking and a meal for a Sunday, home game. Email us with your Hometown Hero recommendation and why.
Winners to be notified by telephone

Does anyone know about this? Please comment

Navy Petty Officer Mike Monsoor PO2 (EOD2) (Explosive Ordnance Disposal) Mike Monsoor, a Navy EOD Technician, was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor posthumously for jumping on a grenade in Iraq, giving his life to save his fellow Seals. (Notice: Mike was not a Navy SEAL, he was EOD. He gave his life to save a group of Navy SEALS.) During Mike Monsoor's funeral in San Diego , as his coffin was being moved from the hearse to the grave site at Ft. Rosecrans National Cemetery , SEALs were lined up on both sides of the pallbearers route forming a column of two's, with the coffin moving up the center. As Mike's coffin passed, each SEAL, having removed his gold Trident from his uniform, slapped it down embedding the Trident in the wooden coffin. The slaps were audible from across the cemetery; by the time the coffin arrived grave side, it looked as though it had a gold inlay from all the Tridents pinned to it. This was a fitting send-off for a warrior hero.. This should be front-page news instead of the we see every day.. God Bless our Troops

Hometown Hero - Sgt. Fair

Operation Homefront Georgia and the Atlanta Braves are honoring "Hometown Heroes" every Sunday at Braves' home games this season. On May 3, Sgt. Fair, United States Marine Corps was honored during the sixth inning by all fans at Turner Field. Sgt. Fair was escorted out onto the field where he got the crowd on their feet. Photographs of Sgt. Fair were shown on the outfield jumbotron after the announcer spoke of his tours in Iraq and great service to our country. Sgt. Fair received high fives and hand shakes all around as he exited the field back to his seat.

We are so proud of Sgt. Fair and his family, not only for his bravery and service but for being a genuinely nice person. Way to go Sgt. Fair!

Photographs & Videos forthcoming. To see all Sunday highlights of heroes visit the blog often!

A Bride's Story

We were never the romantic couple. We have always been the best of friends, pals,team mates (college track ), and each other's gate keepers. I guess that is why when our children came along it was very easy to not miss the date nights or romantic evenings. We had never really had them. We've always done everything as a family. As the years passed, I did notice that, the more frequently he was separated from us to fulfill his military obligations, the more I loved being a MOM. I completely threw myself into Motherhood and my career. Fast forward 19 years, two career changes,graduate school, first born off to college, Korea, GTMO and 3 tours in Iraq. I remember one night I looked at my husband and thought "Who is this guy?" I felt like I didn't even know him anymore.. We had totally lost US. I asking him one night, " So is this it for us Did GOD bring us this far for this? Can you believe my husband didn't even answer? I was so upset. I remember being emotional, excitable and he was...well, a rock, my fortress, my Gilbralter upon which I had built my house.
That summer night I had conceded to being another empty nester statistic in just a few more years.
Oh but, it gets better. After a lot of hard work and many detailed hours of "us time" fast forward: prayer, church, Date Night.
To my utter astonishment, one day en route to work, I passed my husband who is standing on the interstate with a sign that reads, "I am still hopelessly in love with my wife of 19 years. Happy Valentine's Day Sweetie. I love you!!!" Fast forward April 2009: I receive an email from him, in the subject line it says "You have to do this!" I opened it, read it and discover that he has confirmed our presence at a Marriage Vow Renewal Ceremony and a dress fitting.
I called him at work immediately and before I could say anything he said "No, God did not bring us this far to leave us. We will be together until HE comes to get us!" I just held the phone and thought "WOW! Who is this guy?!!"