Coping with Deployment

Coping with deployment
Erin A. Nash

Whether it’s your first deployment or your 10th, it is without a doubt a very stressful time in life. There are jobs, kids, bills, chores, etc., and it all has to be done without the help of a spouse. There’s constant worry, but with some good tips and advice, deployments can be manageable.
I didn’t know what to expect with my husband’s first deployment. It was two weeks after Sept. 11, 2001, that he left. I didn’t know where he was, and had no communication with him. Luckily, now when he deploys, I have an address for him, and there’s e-mail, video teleconference and much better communication. Even though his unit is not allowed to use a lot of social media like Facebook, it comforts me to be able to write on his Facebook wall, a quick “I love you” or “I’m so proud of you” makes me feel better, and he can see it when he comes home and know I was constantly thinking of him and supporting him.
Our last deployment I faced a different challenge. It was the first in a new place. We moved across Georgia, and it’s our first time not living on post. All of our previous deployments I had the comfort of many neighbors and friends who also had spouses deployed. It’s been challenging living among civilians, who are well-meaning but don’t understand the military life. I take this opportunity to try to educate them about the challenges and rewards of being a military spouse, and what a deployment is really like. I also had to make an effort to get to know the other spouses in my husband’s unit, and when I did, it was nice to get together, and talk about our own experiences, both as military spouses and our coping strategies with deployments.
What has really worked for me during our seven deployments has been one rule – Don’t try to keep things “normal.” I don’t mean making any drastic changes, especially if you have children. Consistency is the key with kids, but, if one night, I feel like making breakfast for supper, I’ll do it. Do what feels right, what will bring you that extra ounce of comfort. It’s when I indulge myself in guilty pleasures – a gossip magazine to escape to the realities of everyday life, a bubble bath every single night if I please, or whatever your guilty pleasure may be. It’s not the best time to overindulge in harmful things, but it is a time when it’s okay to be a bit selfish.
If you find yourself struggling, there are many avenues to explore, many different places to get help. If your unit has a Family Readiness Group, contact your leader or co-leader, or whoever can help. They can guide you to whom or what program is applicable to your situation. A chaplain is always someone who will listen, and who can offer advice. There are a myriad of Websites dedicated to helping the military spouse. Reach out to friends and family. You’d be surprised how willing they are to help.
Towards the end of one deployment, a friend asked how she should deal with her husband when he came home. Should she try to get him to talk about his experience, or should she just let him be? Each person is different, I told her. Whereas her husband may want to talk until he’s hoarse, my husband may not want to say much beyond, “I missed you.” I find it best to just lay low for a couple days, to reintegrate with each other, and not force anything. That pre-deployment feeling will come back, and within a few weeks everything seems normal again. This may not be true for all, but I’ve found it’s always the same for us.
Although deployments have been one of the hardest things I’ve had to endure as a military wife, they have made me a stronger, more independent person. I’ve had time to learn about myself, to understand that yes, I can do it. When friends and family say to me, “I don’t know how you do it,” I have only one answer, “Because I love him.”

Some Summer Recipes from a Fort Benning Wife and Mother

With summer in full swing and the Fourth of July just around the corner, I thought I would raid my recipes to find my family’s favorite summer recipes. I do not have exact recipes for most of these so I will do the best I can in telling you how to make them. These recipes are my favorite that my mother passed on to me.
Pasta salad
1 box of Rotini pasta (tri color looks nice)
1 bottle of your favorite Italian dressing (If you are feeling ambitious you can make your own)
2 small cans of diced black olive
1 package of feta cheese (If you don’t like feta it is great with provolone as well)
1 package of sliced pepperoni ( I cut the pepperoni rounds in half)
1 green peeper diced (optional)
1 red onion diced (optional)
All you do to make this is cook the pasta and then toss with the other ingredients. I have noticed that this tastes better if you make it the day before and let everything marinate overnight but it is great the same day as well. (The last time I made this I added diced pastrami and salami and everyone loved it)

Fruit Salad
1 large can of chunk pineapple
1 large can of mandarin oranges drained
1 bag of grapes (I like to cut the grapes in half)
3 bananas sliced thin
1 container of cool whip
1 Package of mini marshmallows
1 large package of instant pudding (I use vanilla but you can use other flavors if you like)
To make this you take the pineapple, not drained, and stir in the package of instant pudding. Allow to set and then add the rest of the fruit. Fold in cool whip and marshmallows. If you want to make this a day ahead wait to add the bananas and cool whip or it may get soggy.
Buffalo Chicken Wing Dip
2 cups of Diced cooked chicken (you can cook it yourself or if you are in a hurry buy precooked chicken)
1 package of shredded mild cheddar ( Colby jack is good as well)
2 packages of softened cream cheese
1 bottle of chicken wing sauce (I use Nancy’s)
1 bottle of blue cheese or ranch dressing (or you can make your own)
1 packet of Italian dressing mix
To make take the cooked chicken, Italian dressing mix, and chicken wing sauce in a saucepan and heat over medium heat until warm. While this is heating take a 13x9 inch pan and spread the cream cheese on the bottom of the pan. Then pour chicken mixture over the cream cheese. Next pour the ranch or blue cheese on the top of the chicken mixture. Finally top with the shredded cheese. Place in a preheated 375 degree oven until cheese is melted on top and dip is heated through. You can serve this with tortilla chips or bread.
I hope you enjoy these recipes these are great to bring to pot lucks, Family Group Readiness events, or just a summer picnic.

Operation Homefront on the Today Show

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/31081978#31101591