Coping with deployment
Erin A. Nash
Whether it’s your first deployment or your 10th, it is without a doubt a very stressful time in life. There are jobs, kids, bills, chores, etc., and it all has to be done without the help of a spouse. There’s constant worry, but with some good tips and advice, deployments can be manageable.
I didn’t know what to expect with my husband’s first deployment. It was two weeks after Sept. 11, 2001, that he left. I didn’t know where he was, and had no communication with him. Luckily, now when he deploys, I have an address for him, and there’s e-mail, video teleconference and much better communication. Even though his unit is not allowed to use a lot of social media like Facebook, it comforts me to be able to write on his Facebook wall, a quick “I love you” or “I’m so proud of you” makes me feel better, and he can see it when he comes home and know I was constantly thinking of him and supporting him.
Our last deployment I faced a different challenge. It was the first in a new place. We moved across Georgia, and it’s our first time not living on post. All of our previous deployments I had the comfort of many neighbors and friends who also had spouses deployed. It’s been challenging living among civilians, who are well-meaning but don’t understand the military life. I take this opportunity to try to educate them about the challenges and rewards of being a military spouse, and what a deployment is really like. I also had to make an effort to get to know the other spouses in my husband’s unit, and when I did, it was nice to get together, and talk about our own experiences, both as military spouses and our coping strategies with deployments.
What has really worked for me during our seven deployments has been one rule – Don’t try to keep things “normal.” I don’t mean making any drastic changes, especially if you have children. Consistency is the key with kids, but, if one night, I feel like making breakfast for supper, I’ll do it. Do what feels right, what will bring you that extra ounce of comfort. It’s when I indulge myself in guilty pleasures – a gossip magazine to escape to the realities of everyday life, a bubble bath every single night if I please, or whatever your guilty pleasure may be. It’s not the best time to overindulge in harmful things, but it is a time when it’s okay to be a bit selfish.
If you find yourself struggling, there are many avenues to explore, many different places to get help. If your unit has a Family Readiness Group, contact your leader or co-leader, or whoever can help. They can guide you to whom or what program is applicable to your situation. A chaplain is always someone who will listen, and who can offer advice. There are a myriad of Websites dedicated to helping the military spouse. Reach out to friends and family. You’d be surprised how willing they are to help.
Towards the end of one deployment, a friend asked how she should deal with her husband when he came home. Should she try to get him to talk about his experience, or should she just let him be? Each person is different, I told her. Whereas her husband may want to talk until he’s hoarse, my husband may not want to say much beyond, “I missed you.” I find it best to just lay low for a couple days, to reintegrate with each other, and not force anything. That pre-deployment feeling will come back, and within a few weeks everything seems normal again. This may not be true for all, but I’ve found it’s always the same for us.
Although deployments have been one of the hardest things I’ve had to endure as a military wife, they have made me a stronger, more independent person. I’ve had time to learn about myself, to understand that yes, I can do it. When friends and family say to me, “I don’t know how you do it,” I have only one answer, “Because I love him.”
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
New Year
New Year!
Welcome 2010! For us military spouses in the state of Georgia we were so ready to see this New Year get here! Like most of us, my spouse is deployed and should be returning home sometime this year!! With that being said, how many of us have made new years’ resolutions? I know for one I have. My goal is to once again lose weight. I hope to shock my husband when he gets back. We shall see how that goes! I plan on heading to the gym on post. It is free to use and they do have childcare at most of the gyms. If not, you are entitled to 16 hours a month of free childcare if your spouse is deployed! Contact your local CYSS and ask about this and other programs that are available.
So while you are at the gym and you feel that you need more motivation, you can ask for a personal trainer. There is no fee for their help. They will guide you on the proper way to exercise and lose weight.
If going to the gym isn’t your cup of tea you can always walk the neighborhood. Just remember that during this time of year to layer up on clothing. Put your MP3 player on and just go. By the way, walking is a good stress reliever and we all can use that. If you are looking for motivation at home you can contact military one source and they will provide you with a personal trainer who will call and check in on you however much you would like.
Basically what I am trying to say is to set goals for yourself to accomplish while your spouse is deployed. It doesn’t have to be losing weight. It can be anything. Just remember to take care of yourself!! -Susan A.
Welcome 2010! For us military spouses in the state of Georgia we were so ready to see this New Year get here! Like most of us, my spouse is deployed and should be returning home sometime this year!! With that being said, how many of us have made new years’ resolutions? I know for one I have. My goal is to once again lose weight. I hope to shock my husband when he gets back. We shall see how that goes! I plan on heading to the gym on post. It is free to use and they do have childcare at most of the gyms. If not, you are entitled to 16 hours a month of free childcare if your spouse is deployed! Contact your local CYSS and ask about this and other programs that are available.
So while you are at the gym and you feel that you need more motivation, you can ask for a personal trainer. There is no fee for their help. They will guide you on the proper way to exercise and lose weight.
If going to the gym isn’t your cup of tea you can always walk the neighborhood. Just remember that during this time of year to layer up on clothing. Put your MP3 player on and just go. By the way, walking is a good stress reliever and we all can use that. If you are looking for motivation at home you can contact military one source and they will provide you with a personal trainer who will call and check in on you however much you would like.
Basically what I am trying to say is to set goals for yourself to accomplish while your spouse is deployed. It doesn’t have to be losing weight. It can be anything. Just remember to take care of yourself!! -Susan A.
Friday, July 10, 2009
A SOLDIER'S VIEW OF MJ'S DEATH........
A SOLDIER'S VIEW OF MJ'S DEATH........
This is written by a young man serving his third tour of duty in Iraq.
Thought you might find his take on the Michael Jackson news interesting.
...........................................................................
.........
Okay, I need to rant.
I was just watching the news, and I caught part of a report on Michael
Jackson. As we all know, Jackson died the other day. He was an entertainer
who performed for decades. He made millions, he spent Millions, and he did a
lot of things that make him a villain to many people. I understand that his
death would affect a lot of people, and I respect those people who mourn his
death, but that isn't the point of my rant.
Why is it that when ONE man dies, the whole of America loses their minds
with grief. When a man dies whose only contribution to the Country was to
ENTERTAIN people, the American people find the need to flock to a memorial
in Hollywood, and even Congress sees the need to hold a "moment of silence"
for his passing?
Am I missing something here? ONE man dies, and all of a sudden he's a
freaking martyr because he entertained us for a few decades? What about all
those SOLDIERS who have died to give us freedom? All those Soldiers who,
knowing that they would be asked to fight in a war, still raised their hands
and swore to defend the Constitution and the United States of America. Where
is their moment of silence? Where are the people flocking to their graves or
memorials and mourning over them because they made the ultimate sacrifice?
Why is it when a Soldier dies, there are more people saying "good riddance,"
and "thank God for IEDs?" When did this country become so calloused to the
Sacrifice of GOOD MEN and WOMEN, that they can arbitrarily blow off their
deaths, and instead, throw themselves into mourning for a "Pop Icon?"
I think that if they are going to hold a moment of silence IN CONGRESS For
Michael Jackson, they need to hold a moment of silence for every Service
member killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. They need to PUBLICLY recognize every
life that has been lost so that the American people can live their callous
little lives in the luxury and freedom that WE, those that are living and
those that have gone on, have provided for them. But, wait, that would take
too much time, because there have been so many willing to make that
sacrifice. After all, we will never make millions of dollars. We will never
star in movies, or write hit songs that the world will listen too. We only
shed our blood, sweat and tears so that people can enjoy what they have.
Sorry if I have offended, but I needed to say it. Remember these five words
the next time you think of someone who is serving in the military; "So that
others may live..."
This is written by a young man serving his third tour of duty in Iraq.
Thought you might find his take on the Michael Jackson news interesting.
...........................................................................
.........
Okay, I need to rant.
I was just watching the news, and I caught part of a report on Michael
Jackson. As we all know, Jackson died the other day. He was an entertainer
who performed for decades. He made millions, he spent Millions, and he did a
lot of things that make him a villain to many people. I understand that his
death would affect a lot of people, and I respect those people who mourn his
death, but that isn't the point of my rant.
Why is it that when ONE man dies, the whole of America loses their minds
with grief. When a man dies whose only contribution to the Country was to
ENTERTAIN people, the American people find the need to flock to a memorial
in Hollywood, and even Congress sees the need to hold a "moment of silence"
for his passing?
Am I missing something here? ONE man dies, and all of a sudden he's a
freaking martyr because he entertained us for a few decades? What about all
those SOLDIERS who have died to give us freedom? All those Soldiers who,
knowing that they would be asked to fight in a war, still raised their hands
and swore to defend the Constitution and the United States of America. Where
is their moment of silence? Where are the people flocking to their graves or
memorials and mourning over them because they made the ultimate sacrifice?
Why is it when a Soldier dies, there are more people saying "good riddance,"
and "thank God for IEDs?" When did this country become so calloused to the
Sacrifice of GOOD MEN and WOMEN, that they can arbitrarily blow off their
deaths, and instead, throw themselves into mourning for a "Pop Icon?"
I think that if they are going to hold a moment of silence IN CONGRESS For
Michael Jackson, they need to hold a moment of silence for every Service
member killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. They need to PUBLICLY recognize every
life that has been lost so that the American people can live their callous
little lives in the luxury and freedom that WE, those that are living and
those that have gone on, have provided for them. But, wait, that would take
too much time, because there have been so many willing to make that
sacrifice. After all, we will never make millions of dollars. We will never
star in movies, or write hit songs that the world will listen too. We only
shed our blood, sweat and tears so that people can enjoy what they have.
Sorry if I have offended, but I needed to say it. Remember these five words
the next time you think of someone who is serving in the military; "So that
others may live..."
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Some Summer Recipes from a Fort Benning Wife and Mother
With summer in full swing and the Fourth of July just around the corner, I thought I would raid my recipes to find my family’s favorite summer recipes. I do not have exact recipes for most of these so I will do the best I can in telling you how to make them. These recipes are my favorite that my mother passed on to me.
Pasta salad
1 box of Rotini pasta (tri color looks nice)
1 bottle of your favorite Italian dressing (If you are feeling ambitious you can make your own)
2 small cans of diced black olive
1 package of feta cheese (If you don’t like feta it is great with provolone as well)
1 package of sliced pepperoni ( I cut the pepperoni rounds in half)
1 green peeper diced (optional)
1 red onion diced (optional)
All you do to make this is cook the pasta and then toss with the other ingredients. I have noticed that this tastes better if you make it the day before and let everything marinate overnight but it is great the same day as well. (The last time I made this I added diced pastrami and salami and everyone loved it)
Fruit Salad
1 large can of chunk pineapple
1 large can of mandarin oranges drained
1 bag of grapes (I like to cut the grapes in half)
3 bananas sliced thin
1 container of cool whip
1 Package of mini marshmallows
1 large package of instant pudding (I use vanilla but you can use other flavors if you like)
To make this you take the pineapple, not drained, and stir in the package of instant pudding. Allow to set and then add the rest of the fruit. Fold in cool whip and marshmallows. If you want to make this a day ahead wait to add the bananas and cool whip or it may get soggy.
Buffalo Chicken Wing Dip
2 cups of Diced cooked chicken (you can cook it yourself or if you are in a hurry buy precooked chicken)
1 package of shredded mild cheddar ( Colby jack is good as well)
2 packages of softened cream cheese
1 bottle of chicken wing sauce (I use Nancy’s)
1 bottle of blue cheese or ranch dressing (or you can make your own)
1 packet of Italian dressing mix
To make take the cooked chicken, Italian dressing mix, and chicken wing sauce in a saucepan and heat over medium heat until warm. While this is heating take a 13x9 inch pan and spread the cream cheese on the bottom of the pan. Then pour chicken mixture over the cream cheese. Next pour the ranch or blue cheese on the top of the chicken mixture. Finally top with the shredded cheese. Place in a preheated 375 degree oven until cheese is melted on top and dip is heated through. You can serve this with tortilla chips or bread.
I hope you enjoy these recipes these are great to bring to pot lucks, Family Group Readiness events, or just a summer picnic.
Pasta salad
1 box of Rotini pasta (tri color looks nice)
1 bottle of your favorite Italian dressing (If you are feeling ambitious you can make your own)
2 small cans of diced black olive
1 package of feta cheese (If you don’t like feta it is great with provolone as well)
1 package of sliced pepperoni ( I cut the pepperoni rounds in half)
1 green peeper diced (optional)
1 red onion diced (optional)
All you do to make this is cook the pasta and then toss with the other ingredients. I have noticed that this tastes better if you make it the day before and let everything marinate overnight but it is great the same day as well. (The last time I made this I added diced pastrami and salami and everyone loved it)
Fruit Salad
1 large can of chunk pineapple
1 large can of mandarin oranges drained
1 bag of grapes (I like to cut the grapes in half)
3 bananas sliced thin
1 container of cool whip
1 Package of mini marshmallows
1 large package of instant pudding (I use vanilla but you can use other flavors if you like)
To make this you take the pineapple, not drained, and stir in the package of instant pudding. Allow to set and then add the rest of the fruit. Fold in cool whip and marshmallows. If you want to make this a day ahead wait to add the bananas and cool whip or it may get soggy.
Buffalo Chicken Wing Dip
2 cups of Diced cooked chicken (you can cook it yourself or if you are in a hurry buy precooked chicken)
1 package of shredded mild cheddar ( Colby jack is good as well)
2 packages of softened cream cheese
1 bottle of chicken wing sauce (I use Nancy’s)
1 bottle of blue cheese or ranch dressing (or you can make your own)
1 packet of Italian dressing mix
To make take the cooked chicken, Italian dressing mix, and chicken wing sauce in a saucepan and heat over medium heat until warm. While this is heating take a 13x9 inch pan and spread the cream cheese on the bottom of the pan. Then pour chicken mixture over the cream cheese. Next pour the ranch or blue cheese on the top of the chicken mixture. Finally top with the shredded cheese. Place in a preheated 375 degree oven until cheese is melted on top and dip is heated through. You can serve this with tortilla chips or bread.
I hope you enjoy these recipes these are great to bring to pot lucks, Family Group Readiness events, or just a summer picnic.
Friday, June 5, 2009
20 Military Couples Say "I Do"
OPHFGA
IMMEDIATE RELEASE
June 5, 2009
For Immediate Release
Contact: Kim Scofi, Chapter President
770-973-0014
georgia@operationhomefront.net
20 Military Couples Say "I Do"
Operation Homefront Georgia hosts a dream wedding for 20 Ft. Benning couples, June 13.
Columbus, GA - June 13, 2009
Marriage for many begins with a budget, calendar and a long list of dreams. Stir into the mix cost of living, military careers and multiple deployments and you have military couples marrying at the Justice of the Peace. 20 couples with Ft. Benning ties will have the opportunity June 13th to have the wedding of their dreams and memories for a lifetime as they join Operation Homefront Georgia in Operation Wedding Bells.
Military WeddingBrides will don beautiful designer gowns and veils generously donated by Alfred Angelo of Miami, FL to Operation Homefront Georgia as they walk down the aisle to meet the Soldier of their dreams at the Columbus Botanical Gardens. Each bride received not only the dress and headpiece but professional hair design, manicure, pedicure and make up application to truly feel like a princess. Thanks to the generosity of the Columbus Botanical Gardens these wonderful couples and their guests will have a spectacular outdoor wedding in a beautiful garden setting. The Columbus Botanical Gardens not only donated the space for the wedding, but the volunteers to serve as ushers and attendants and designed and created all of the flowers to include bouquets. Hooters of America, a corporate sponsor of Operation Homefront will provide food and beverage for all of the couples and their guests (250) along with a very special honeymoon for one lucky couple that day.
"The couples participating have faced a variety of issues which precluded them from every girls dream wedding. We want to give these military members and their betrothed a memory to hold onto as these families will face a long deployment soon enough. Operation Homefront Georgia is committed to supporting these wonderful Soldiers and the Families of Ft. Benning along with all installations around the state."said, Kim Scofi, Chapter President, Operation Homefront Georgia.
*
WHO: 20 Ft. Benning Couples & Operation Homefront Georgia
WHAT: Operation Wedding Bells & Vow Renewals
WHEN: 13 June, 2009 5:00 PM
WHERE: Columbus Botanical Gardens, 3603 Weems Road, Columbus, GA 706-327-8400
About Operation Homefront Georgia
Operation Homefront Georgia provides emergency and morale assistance for our troops, the families they leave behind and for wounded warriors when they return home. A nonprofit 501(c)(3), Operation Homefront Georgia leads more than 400 volunteers in Georgia, and has provided critical assistance to more than 8,000 military families in need. Operation Homefront, Inc. hosts the Web community Operation Homefront Online. For more information, please visit Operation Homefront Georgia and Homefront Online.
# # #
IMMEDIATE RELEASE
June 5, 2009
For Immediate Release
Contact: Kim Scofi, Chapter President
770-973-0014
georgia@operationhomefront.net
20 Military Couples Say "I Do"
Operation Homefront Georgia hosts a dream wedding for 20 Ft. Benning couples, June 13.
Columbus, GA - June 13, 2009
Marriage for many begins with a budget, calendar and a long list of dreams. Stir into the mix cost of living, military careers and multiple deployments and you have military couples marrying at the Justice of the Peace. 20 couples with Ft. Benning ties will have the opportunity June 13th to have the wedding of their dreams and memories for a lifetime as they join Operation Homefront Georgia in Operation Wedding Bells.
Military WeddingBrides will don beautiful designer gowns and veils generously donated by Alfred Angelo of Miami, FL to Operation Homefront Georgia as they walk down the aisle to meet the Soldier of their dreams at the Columbus Botanical Gardens. Each bride received not only the dress and headpiece but professional hair design, manicure, pedicure and make up application to truly feel like a princess. Thanks to the generosity of the Columbus Botanical Gardens these wonderful couples and their guests will have a spectacular outdoor wedding in a beautiful garden setting. The Columbus Botanical Gardens not only donated the space for the wedding, but the volunteers to serve as ushers and attendants and designed and created all of the flowers to include bouquets. Hooters of America, a corporate sponsor of Operation Homefront will provide food and beverage for all of the couples and their guests (250) along with a very special honeymoon for one lucky couple that day.
"The couples participating have faced a variety of issues which precluded them from every girls dream wedding. We want to give these military members and their betrothed a memory to hold onto as these families will face a long deployment soon enough. Operation Homefront Georgia is committed to supporting these wonderful Soldiers and the Families of Ft. Benning along with all installations around the state."said, Kim Scofi, Chapter President, Operation Homefront Georgia.
*
WHO: 20 Ft. Benning Couples & Operation Homefront Georgia
WHAT: Operation Wedding Bells & Vow Renewals
WHEN: 13 June, 2009 5:00 PM
WHERE: Columbus Botanical Gardens, 3603 Weems Road, Columbus, GA 706-327-8400
About Operation Homefront Georgia
Operation Homefront Georgia provides emergency and morale assistance for our troops, the families they leave behind and for wounded warriors when they return home. A nonprofit 501(c)(3), Operation Homefront Georgia leads more than 400 volunteers in Georgia, and has provided critical assistance to more than 8,000 military families in need. Operation Homefront, Inc. hosts the Web community Operation Homefront Online. For more information, please visit Operation Homefront Georgia and Homefront Online.
# # #
The Perspective of a Fort Benning Military Wife and Mother-Summer in Georgia
Summertime is upon us. Along with the scorching heat comes the fun of block leave and summer vacations. If you are looking for a vacation that is within driving distance then a nice family beach vacation idea is Tybee Island on the Eastern Georgia Coast. It is about a four and a half hour drive through the beautiful Georgia countryside. We made the drive in our Mercury Sable on about three quarters of a tank of gas.
For those who are unfamiliar with where Tybee Island is located, it is the coastal area right near Savannah, Georgia. The beach is absolutely beautiful and it is very family friendly. We rented a three bedroom condo with our family right on the beach and it was about $300 per family for the week which we considered very affordable. There are other options for lodging here as well such a multitude of hotels as well as rental houses. As for the atmosphere the beach is not overly touristy but there are many things to do.
One family outing that we took was to the downtown area on the island. On that end of the island you can find souvenir shops, ice cream stores, lots of restaurants, and the pier. The pier was our favorite spot. On the pier there was an ice cream shop, a hot dog stand, and a bar. There is a covered pavilion that has ample seating. At the end of the pier there is a smaller pavilion that had benches and a beautiful view of the rolling waves.
Another day we went on a Dolphin Cruise. My stepdaughter is an animal fanatic so no vacation is complete without some sort of animal excursion. The dolphin cruise was a ninety minute boat ride. It cost $15 per adult and $7 per child. We were somewhat nervous that after paying for the boat ride we may not see dolphins but as it turned out we could not believe how many dolphins we saw. We even got to see two baby dolphins which the children loved.
My favorite part of the trip was the beach. The beach was a good combination or soft sand and hard packed sand closer to the water. This gave us option of lying out and building sand castles in the soft sand and taking walks or riding bikes on the packed sand. The water this time of year was perfect not too cold but yet not to hot as to not be refreshing. We enjoyed many hours on the beach playing in the water either boogie boarding in the waves and looking for hermit crabs in the tide pools.
My husband’s favorite part of the trip was the lighthouse and the Military forts. My husband was a history teacher before he came into the army so anytime that we vacation we usually visit the local historical land marks. The lighthouse was our favorite part of the day because it had a beautiful view.
The last thing that we did while on vacation was eat. We ate, and ate, and ate but with all of the fresh seafood how could you not. Our favorite place to eat was the crab shack. This restaurant is awesome. There is seating indoors or out depending on the weather, awesome décor, an even an alligator pit that you can feed the alligators. The portions here were huge and the food was good. I would definitely recommend this restaurant to anyone who comes to the area.
We were so busy the whole time that we were on vacation and with Savannah so close there is so much more that we could have done. I highly recommend Tybee Island to anyone looking for a great beach getaway.
CJ
For those who are unfamiliar with where Tybee Island is located, it is the coastal area right near Savannah, Georgia. The beach is absolutely beautiful and it is very family friendly. We rented a three bedroom condo with our family right on the beach and it was about $300 per family for the week which we considered very affordable. There are other options for lodging here as well such a multitude of hotels as well as rental houses. As for the atmosphere the beach is not overly touristy but there are many things to do.
One family outing that we took was to the downtown area on the island. On that end of the island you can find souvenir shops, ice cream stores, lots of restaurants, and the pier. The pier was our favorite spot. On the pier there was an ice cream shop, a hot dog stand, and a bar. There is a covered pavilion that has ample seating. At the end of the pier there is a smaller pavilion that had benches and a beautiful view of the rolling waves.
Another day we went on a Dolphin Cruise. My stepdaughter is an animal fanatic so no vacation is complete without some sort of animal excursion. The dolphin cruise was a ninety minute boat ride. It cost $15 per adult and $7 per child. We were somewhat nervous that after paying for the boat ride we may not see dolphins but as it turned out we could not believe how many dolphins we saw. We even got to see two baby dolphins which the children loved.
My favorite part of the trip was the beach. The beach was a good combination or soft sand and hard packed sand closer to the water. This gave us option of lying out and building sand castles in the soft sand and taking walks or riding bikes on the packed sand. The water this time of year was perfect not too cold but yet not to hot as to not be refreshing. We enjoyed many hours on the beach playing in the water either boogie boarding in the waves and looking for hermit crabs in the tide pools.
My husband’s favorite part of the trip was the lighthouse and the Military forts. My husband was a history teacher before he came into the army so anytime that we vacation we usually visit the local historical land marks. The lighthouse was our favorite part of the day because it had a beautiful view.
The last thing that we did while on vacation was eat. We ate, and ate, and ate but with all of the fresh seafood how could you not. Our favorite place to eat was the crab shack. This restaurant is awesome. There is seating indoors or out depending on the weather, awesome décor, an even an alligator pit that you can feed the alligators. The portions here were huge and the food was good. I would definitely recommend this restaurant to anyone who comes to the area.
We were so busy the whole time that we were on vacation and with Savannah so close there is so much more that we could have done. I highly recommend Tybee Island to anyone looking for a great beach getaway.
CJ
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